November 9 – 13, 2015

What happened…

Amanda writes:

I’ll admit that part of the problem was me. While I was trying to keep my head out of my ass with regards to being angry about being on Baja it was hard. The headwinds were tiring, the road was more narrow than anything we had ever ridden before and the dessert wasn’t that interesting to look at. I was just left thinking (again) that had we done some research before coming he we would have known that riding North is silly. I mean it is after all the time of year with North winds and as a kite surfer, Andrew would know that if he had of thought about it.

Neither of us could say anything nice to each other so we simply resorted to not talking to each other unless it was necessary. We didn’t change everything we do as we still managed to lose shit. Andrew left the cap to our Stanley thermos on the side of a road. This would be the same thermos that I just wrote a review about stating how it is my favourite luxury item that we travel with. And when he told me, he just stated it matter of factly with no remorse or apology or anything. Just like, “Hey by the way I left the lid at that last town.” I know he didn’t do it intentionally but in my already bad mood I couldn’t understand how you could forget it. In any event it just seemed to be another bloody thing to be pissed about.

And so we just rode bikes. We rode for hour after hour and didn’t say anything to each other. We rode long days, both mileage wise and time wise. At one point we rode right past a tarantula spider and I pointed it out to Andrew thinking he’d stop to take a picture and he road right past it. I was left thinking, why? And so I took the camera, so that I could take some photos, because clearly he wasn’t interested in it. Then after I had the camera I too resorted to not taking any pictures; even when the landscape was breathtaking. Beautiful ocean on one side with amazing mountains on the other after we finished crossing the desert.

Our inability to make peace continued for days and was heart breaking. Especially when those days turned into our wedding anniversary. It was almost like we were having a battle to see who could be more stubborn. After about 4 hours on the bike I decided this was silly and said something to Andrew to acknowledge it was our anniversary. It wasn’t romantic or anything but at least I broke the ice only to have it thrown back in my face. You know when you fall in love and you want to tell someone you love them for the first time? That’s a super vulnerable place to be because if they don’t reciprocate it’s going to hurt and then you’ll feel like it’s all wrong. Well Andrew’s response to me was the equivalent of someone replying to your admission of love by saying “that’s nice for you”. I took the slap in the face with a tear in my eye and continued cycling. After 8 years of marriage we’re too stubborn to be nice to each other or even acknowledge that we have something to celebrate.

One of the things I don’t like about life on the road is we don’t celebrate any special occasions anymore, not just our anniversary. We recognized Canadian thanksgiving with a turkey sandwich, and who knows what we’ll do for USA thanksgiving. Birthdays just seem to be another day on a calendar and now our anniversary.

So after days on the road without talking, being nice to each other or taking any pictures we finally had a conversation. We didn’t really ‘make up’ if you will, we just agreed that riding for over 6 hours each day wasn’t fun and we should try being nice to each other. Baja was certainly proving to be unenjoyable and I’ll admit most of that is our attitude. We’ve heard so many good things about Baja but we clearly weren’t destined to see that on this trip.

We met some other cycle tourers and they had so much energy and were so happy and energetic. I wished their enthusiasm was contagious because we were not in good spirits. I’m sure after they chatted with us they must have thought – what was with those two?

Today’s Photographs